Martha and I wake up to a beautiful Saturday morning. Not particularly ambitious, we lay around the room a couple of hours until we finally decide we need to eat something before we pass out. We peruse the hotel restaurant menu, but decide to pass on the $15 omelet and $3.00 OJ. There has to be something on the road relatively close by.

Sure....

11:00am

On the road and trying to decide what we want to eat. The consensus...PANCAKES!!! This leads us to repeating the IHOP bit word for word, laughing like idiots in the process. We head out of DC thinking we'll see a breakfast place any time. Nada. We hit the Parkway heading to B'more. Still nada. We take an exit on a whim, nearly faint with hunger. First direction, nothing. We bang a u-turn and low and behold, I see it in the distance. That unmistakable blue roof. "It's a goddamn IHOP!" I shout. Gales of laughter from us both. Jesus, should we really stop? Of course, we NEED pancakes.

Btw....This IHOP did NOT have 6 syrups on the table and there was no Boysenberry.

Still, the pancakes rocked.

1:30pm

We arrive at the Wyndam and get checked in. On the way upstairs we run into a couple of guys with a luggage cart full of booze. These are my kinda guys! I immediately introduce myself. Justin, the more talkative of the two, tells us he and his buddies are in for their yearly Orioles game and general debauchery. We all get off at the same floor. The boys are just down the hall from us. Justin invites us down once we settle in.

2:00pm

We settle into the fabulous room. Hotels.com is hit and miss, but this was certainly a hit. Large, comfortable, nice view, two beds. Martha and I kick back and nap for bit.

4:00pm

After a refreshing nap I decide it's time to give the boys down the hall a visit. Justin meets me at the door. "What can I get you?" I request a vodka and cranberry. Justin hands me the drink, which is barley pink, and introduces me to the rest of the crew. The guys are all about 25 and in complete party mode. They have left behind their girlfriends and wives and are already preparing a story to take back home. I hang out and talk smack with this crew until the testosterone overcomes me. I grab a Corona for Martha and head back to our room. Justin invites us back. Flirty little guy he is. And the only one with no girlfriend. Go figure.

6:00pm

Martha and I head to dinner at Shula's. If you EVER get a chance to eat at a Shula's restaurant, go. It is simply the best steak you will ever get. They roll the meat over to your table on this big cart and you pick your cut.

Martha and I order a huge amount of food and spend the next hour oohhing and ahhing over it. Always fun to eat with someone who enjoys food as much as I do.

7:30pm

We roll out of the restaurant and into a cab. We are less than 3 miles from the venue and are sure a half hour will be plenty of time. What we don't count on is the gay pride festival which has traffic completely hosed up between us and the Lyric Opera House. Our cabbie, an Iranian national, promises to get us there on time. I'm not exactly sure how we found out he was Iranian. He was talkative from the get go and we were off on all sorts of conversation in a matter of a few minutes. We discussed politics, gays and American/Iranian culture differences. He hurled a few good natured insults our way and Martha and I protested heartily. He immediately copped out and said his "language skills" were lacking and he meant no harm. He of course spoke better English than some of my students so we both knew that was crap. We crept up the street at an excruciating pace and I was getting more nervous by the minute. It was 10 minutes before curtain and we were not even in sight of the theater. Our Iranian cabbie swears he'll get us there on time and asks when he does that we buy him a gift. Something from Polo, preferably. I'm not actually sure he was joking. We hit a major intersection and he cuts off a car. He yells out the window to the driver, "Sorry! But they are in a hurry," as he gestures to the backseat. Martha and I wave timidly.

We pull up to the Lyric at 5 minutes 'til 8:00. Our cabbie gives us some last minute directions on how to get cab safely in this part of town once the show is over. We give him a huge tip and head up the steps. Best cab ride I've had in a long time.

8:00pm

We get to our seats and take a minute to check out the house. The Lyric has an interesting set-up. Deep, but not wide, it seems to go on for a long time; the back balcony far removed from the stage. Martha and I notice the crowd is very upscale, older and much more subdued than in DC. There's no buzz like the night before, it's noticeably flat. We also spot Lewis' parents sitting a few rows behind us. How the hell did we get better seats than his parents?

8:15pm

John comes out and gets a lukewarm response. Similar material as the night previous, but the crowd is NOT with him. The woman next to me begins to loudly proclaim her dislike of John. I tolerate this for a few minutes until I realize she isn't going to shut up. She's not heckling, but she is continuously telling her friends how unfunny she thinks he is and anyone in earshot can hear her. I finally snap and tell her to show some respect and shut the fuck up. We get into a pretty heated argument. Just before we come to blows, John finishes up and she bolts to the lobby.

Now, let me digress for a moment and talk a little bit about comedy etiquette. If you happen to not find an act funny, you do NOT have the right to heckle or otherwise interrupt. Simply pick your sorry ass up and go the lobby or bar until said act is finished. Comedy is subjective and not everyone is going to like every act. Just be respectful to the performer and the rest of the audience. Besides, you might be sitting next to a bitch like me...

Ok, back to the evening...

9:00pm

Lewis comes onstage. The crowd has picked up a little energy, but not much. The theater is hot and stuffy, so that may have something to do with it. Even though it has been less than 24 hours, Lewis has new material. Nothing substantial, but there are definite differences in phrasing, word selection and emphasis. I start to get hysterical about the ocean bit before Lewis even gets to it. Once again Lewis puts on a near flawless act and Martha and I cheer wildly. The woman I had the argument with again flees her seat before I turn around. Martha and I both leave the theater singing Crazy.

10:30

We sit on the stairs in the lobby watching Lewis and John work the crowd for the meet and greet. I always enjoy this. It is amazing what some people ask of them. I see a rather pudgy young woman pull up her shirt for Lewis to sign her stomach. Not her boobs, but her torso. Weird.

As we sit taking it all in a young man approaches us rather purposely. I figure we are about to be told to move. Instead the guy tells us we are "the smartest gals in here." His name is Dirk and he runs the joint. We have a very lively conversation with Dirk and arrange to hook up with him and his friends later on.

We leave the stairs and wander over to bug Ben and Jeff at the concession table. We don't get to talk with them long since Lewis' parents are around as well as several other friends and family members. Martha and I do our best to stay out of the way. We love talking with these guys, but do our best to not wear out our welcome.

The line finally dwindles and we mosey over to Lewis and John. Two women in line near us feel the need to touch my hair. I'm so used to having perfect strangers want to touch my head it doesn't even faze me any more.

We get to Lewis and John and make them take another picture with us. The one from DC is crappy because we had to lean over the table. Not the most flattering stance for two 40ish broads. We make them stand for this one. Lewis throws an arm around each of us, giving us both a nice squeeze in the process. We show off the shirts my friend Meg put together for us and get them signed. Lewis gets a huge kick out of the design.

I ask Lewis a few quick questions before we leave.

"Do you know if any of your web pieces from the 2004 election will be on The Daily Show DVD?"

"I have no fucking idea." Lewis replies.

About the Happy Shack pieces for the Friday Night Standup promo for Nothing's Sacred.

• Lewis didn't write them, a team from Comedy Central did.
• Took a full 8 hour day to film them.
• Lewis enjoyed the bits and was happy with the finished product.

Lewis was unhappy with one thing. The show in Norfolk wasn't a sell out. In fact, it was only about half sold. He was bugged at having two great shows in a row then "imploding" in Norfolk. I assure him it would be fine. He just grunts at me, certain I have no idea what I am talking about.

11:30pm

We say our goodbyes and head out to Cobb's to meet Dirk. We hang out with him, his fiancée Jen and their friends Will and Kim. Dirk and I trade horror stories about the Clear Channel Evil Empire. It's at this point we find out that CC's sound guys didn't turn on the sound in the back end of the house during John's act. No wonder he didn't get much of a reception.

2:00am

Martha and I say our goodbyes and head back to the hotel. Still wired from the evening, neither of us can sleep. Once again we trade lines and re-hash the show until we fall asleep.