Arrive at the airport to find out my flight has been delayed. My HALF HOUR flight to Baltimore has been indefinitely delayed due to mechanical difficulties.

Fuck.

Time to head to the bar...

11am

Two bloody marys later and I'm seriously discussing the possibility of renting a car with a total stranger and driving to BWI where Martha is picking me up. Me and the guy, whose name I didn't even know, saunter to the ticket counter to check on the flight. The plane is finally coming in at 12:50pm. We scrap the rental idea and head back to the bar.

Noon

I'm at the bar nursing another bloody mary and having a lovely conversation about comedy with a hot 25-year-old sailor named Brad who is downing whiskey at about double the rate of my bloody mary intake. Things are going along smashingly until he mentions his fiancée.

Fuck.

1:20pm

Finally in the air. The Southwest Airlines staff plies us with free liquor to salve the pain of the FOUR HOUR delay. The hot sailor sits next to me and we continue to drink. The gal giving the pre-flight instructions delivers something more akin to a stand-up bit than a FAA approved flight intro. Hot sailor guy asks for my email address. Hmmmmm...perhaps the fiancée isn't a sure thing. At BWI we wave and part ways. He promises to email. Uh-huh, riiiight. I've heard that before.

2:00pm

Martha rolls up and we head out for DC. Traffic is blissfully light for a mid-afternoon in DC. I navigate and Martha winds us through the maze of downtown DC. We pull up to the hotel and get checked in. The room is tiny and we end up with only one bed. So much for that Hotel.com guarantee. I am hoping the close proximity doesn't create enough tension to warrant a homicide before the night is over.

6:00pm

We head out to eat. First choice is Old Ebbitt Grill. The cab ride is quite the experience, the first of several that weekend. We end up getting dropped smack in front of the door thanks to a well executed U-turn in the middle of 15th street. I hand the cabbie a $5 tip. Anyone with that level of creativity, and bravery, deserves a 30% tip.

Ebbitt is slammed, an hour wait at least. We head out on foot in the direction of the theater and settle on Occidental Grill. We eat outside and pay way more than we intended. But the food was good, the night was grand and we enjoy ourselves immensely.

7:15pm

7:30pm

Arrive at the theater and settle in to our seats. We try to identify the music and wonder who put it together. It's a nice mix. Martha and I scope the crowd. Pretty upscale, very white and mostly male. We see a lot of kids, college-aged mostly. The crowd is buzzing. Feels like it's gonna be a great night.

8pm

John Bowman takes the stage. He has new material and k-i-l-l-s! Comes out into the audience, stalking audience members slinking into their seats. He likes to hug people. Go figure.

Best line of the night...."I am not going to ruin a $75 buzz with a $2 cheeseburger." I get a chuckle out of this line for days.

9pm

Lewis!!! It's been eight months since I last saw him and I'm nearly bouncing out of my seat as he takes the stage. The crowd goes fucking insane. Lewis had just gotten back from a 10 day vacation in Europe and looks rested and relaxed. He opens talking about his trip to Ireland, Amsterdam and Russia. He goes into great detail about performing for the Correspondents dinner. The act is completely different from the last time I saw him. I end up getting hysterical over a bit about Lewis going to the ocean and the resulting issues with ear infections and sharks.

Lewis rolls on and the audience rolls with him. It's a good night and Martha and I are nearly breathless from laughing by the end of it. We are both glad there's another show the next night. Once is simply not enough.

10:15pm

We meander slowly out of the theater as Patsy Cline croons Crazy over the sound system. Martha sings along.

10:30pm

We wait in the lobby and make small talk with Tour Manager Ben and Concessions Guy Jeff. I always wait until the meet and greet line clears out before I go up and speak to Lewis. Since I tend to have a list of questions to ask him, I feel like I shouldn't take up other fans' time in the process. We finally get up to the table and I ask a gentleman to take a pic of Martha, myself, Lewis and John. Since this is an historic event, we are documenting every night with massive amounts of pictures. The guy I hand my camera to can't get the flash to work. I come back from around the table and fuss with it to get it set up again. In the meantime John, smart ass that he is, says to me, "Oh, great, are we going to have to wait all night? Is this the way it's going to be all weekend?"

"Bite me." I politely respond.

We finally get the picture.

Lewis has several friends at the show and gets to talking with them. Martha and I decide to hang out for a few more minutes and talk with John. She still has Crazy running through her brain and I ask John if he can help her get it out. He immediately breaks into a rousing rendition of I Love the Nightlife.

Just as we are about to leave, Lewis comes over to say hello. I ask him about the TV pilots he's working on. Two are in the mix, one for Comedy Central, one for FX. Right now they are in script stage. It all sounds like a very complex and nerve-racking process. I'm glad it's not me.

During our conversation, Martha, trying to convey how strange it is that she and I, who barely know each other, are managing to spend an entire weekend traveling the Mid-Atlantic together taking in shows, blurts out the phrase, "...and now we're sleeping together!" I wish I could have adequately captured the look on Lewis' face. Hell, I would have liked to seen the look on *my* face. And for the record, we did NOT sleep together. We got a rollaway bed crammed into the tiny room.

11:30pm

We say goodbye to Lewis and John and head to the Marriot. We find a nice little lounge and order; Martha a vodka martini and me a 10 year tawny port. We toast the night and immediately I upset the tiny table. I manage to catch my port, but not the martini. Martha ends up drenched in vodka. The waiter, god bless him, takes pity and brings Martha a refill free of charge. We sit and talk a while, but the travel day finally catches up with me and we make a short evening of it.

12:30am

Back at the hotel and comfortably in bed. Martha and I giggle in the dark, repeating lines until we finally crash for the night.